Good afternoon, House of Madness residents:
Let me start off by saying I did view "28 Years Later (2025), and cared for it about as much as a punt in the junk, with considerably less pain, but an equal amount of lingering frustration. It wasn't that it was necessarily a poor film by any means, but if you're going to wait 18 years to make another sequel, expectations will understandably be high, and mine were through the fucking roof. I really enjoyed "28 Days Later", but the last third of the film has always left a bit of a sour taste in my mouth, as I felt it dragged on, and didn't gel with the first two thirds (which I enjoyed immensely). "28 Weeks Later", however, was my favourite of the two films, which is rare for a sequel, but I thoroughly enjoyed the nonstop chaos from start to finish, and felt satisfied at its conclusion, much more so than when the credits rolled after the first installment.
Enter "28 Years Later: The Bone Temple", and my excitement level was comparable to my inner feelings of dread as I entered a colonoscopy appointment, and saw that my regular physician had been replaced by a man with hands the size of dinner plates, and fingernails that hadn't seemingly been clipped since the cold war. My main gripe with "28 Years Later" was after waiting 18 years to feast my eyes upon complete armageddon in a world devoured by parasitic demons, we were treated to a dull story about one family and their inner demons so to speak, and in a world oozing with so much more to offer, I felt cheated and gutted when the credits began to roll. So forgive my piss poor attitude heading into this film, but I admittedly walked into the theatre expecting an episode of "Below Deck", but was instead treated to a film more akin to "Jaws Sinks The Titanic". To be clear, this film has absolutely zero sharks or boats in it, I'm simply saying I expected a finger painting from a one-handed chimpanzee, and instead received a stunning portrait I simply hadn't anticipated. Perhaps my metaphors need some fine tuning. Oh well.
"28 Years Later: The Bone Temple" continues right where its predecessor left off, only this time our focus is diverted directly to Dr. Ian Kelson (Ralph Fiennes), and a Satanic cult made up entirely of Jimmy's, led by the self proclaimed son of Satan, Sir Jimmy Crystal (Jack O'Connell). As the group of Jimmy's spends their free time terrorizing the countryside with their murderous mayhem, Dr. Kelson has been hard at work, attempting to develop an antidote for what he perceives to be a curable disease which has completely engulfed all of the land. One day, Dr. Kelson stumbles across an undead Alpha he names Samson (Chi Lewis-Parry), and upon tranquilizing him with a dart, realizes that the 'demon' isn't only seemingly receptive to his calmness and friendly demeanor, but the two have manifested a previously thought impossible bond, and Samson is no longer deemed a threat. Meanwhile, as Dr. Kelson and his new BFF continue his research and work towards a cure, the Jimmy's are fast approaching, and once they stumble across The Bone Temple, quickly adopt the idea that Dr. Kelson isn't simply an old man living in the woods, but is none other than their Dark Lord, and is to be worshipped according to his one and only son Jimmy Crystal. As Jimmy Crystal approaches Dr. Kelson with a sinister plan serving his own purpose, little does he know that Dr. Kelson has a plan of his own, one that the Devil himself would no doubt be proud of.
I hope you enjoy Duran Duran, dancing, and Iron Maiden as much as I did.
Madness Meter: 7.9/10
NB
