Good afternoon, House of Madness cannibals:
Sometimes in life, a good thing on its own is exactly what you desire. Other times, one thing isn't enough to satisfy your internal wants, and you find an additional something to appease whatever appetite needs feeding. Some days a hamburger hits the spot on its own, and other days it needs the reinforcement that only a greasy order of fries can propitiate. A long walk can be great exercise, but is often enhanced by a visit to the park while you relax on the grass, letting nature entertain your soul with its insatiable beauty. A nice, romantic long kiss with the person you love can reach levels of unheralded excitement, but adding a solid handj........oops, got a little off course there, sorry! Let's get back to the matter at hand (grow up!) and discuss how sometimes even horror could use a sidekick, and if done correctly, the two can make each other stronger, while forcing you to appreciate them each individually and as a tantalizing tag team. Plenty of horror/comedy exists, and when the two genres gel and make a connection, our hearts burn with pleasure after receiving a double dose of our favourite entertainers (unless you bought Hot Tamales instead of popcorn, then maybe get that checked).
Well it's not horror/comedy that's in-store with "Bones and All", it's a journey we experience with Maren (Taylor Russell) about finding herself, finding love, and accepting what she is while learning how to deal with it. Maren lives at home with her father (Andre Holland), and she's at yet another new school in a new town, trying to make new friends. She is invited to a sleepover by her new friend Sherry (Kendle Coffey) in which she initially declines because she says her dad will say no, but is easily convinced to sneak out while her dad thinks she's sleeping, and head to the makeover party just up the road from where she lives. As Maren heads to bed for the night, her dad follows close behind and deadbolts the bedroom door so she can't escape. Is this guy a kidnapper or some kind of abusive control freak? Why would anyone lock their child in their own room with absolutely no resistance from the interpreted victim? This guy is bad news for sure. Luckily Maren's room has a window with absolutely zero security measures in place, so her little plan of sneaking out is executed to perfection, with her dad none the wiser. Once at the slumber party, Maren and Sherry are lying down and talking, while the other friends do each other's nails and gossip. It seems things might be getting steamy with Maren and Sherry, until what seemed to be an erotic episode turns into Maren biting off Sherry's finger, and then running away as fast as she can in a confused, almost embarrassed frantic state. Well, I guess they're not friends anymore. Maren arrives home, only to be greeted by an "oh no, not again!" type of response from her dad, and they quickly pack the car in search of a new life, in a new state for what feels like the millionth time.
One morning, Maren wakes to an empty house. He finally did it. Her dad can't continue cleaning up her messes and covering for her anymore, so he leaves her birth certificate, an audio recording explaining himself, and a few bucks to get her by until she can come up with a plan. The plan is to track down the mother her dad refused to talk about, and solve this mystery of just who or what she is. Maren can afford a bus ticket as far as Columbus, so she heads on her journey to find the truth, but will have to take the scenic route for financial reasons. Once in Columbus, Maren is approached by a strange older man in the middle of the night named Sully (Mark Rylance), a man that says he smelled her from half a mile away and is an 'eater' like she is. Once gaining Maren's trust the two head to Sully's to get out of the elements and get something to eat. Upstairs, Maren finds a woman in distress and immobilized from an assumed heart attack, and Sully pleads he can smell all kinds of things, explaining why he's there, and offers to teach Maren more about 'eaters'. The next morning Maren awakes to Sully feeding on the old woman, and despite wanting to do what feels right, Maren gives in to her eternal appetite and dives in for some brunch. Things don't seem quite right about this Sully character though, so Maren gives him the slip the first chance she gets, and jumps on a bus out of town yet again.
Now out of funds, Maren has found a shopping market she hopes has a no payment required policy, and helps herself to the basics while workers are distracted by paying customers. As she's spotted by a fellow customer, a woman down the aisle is being harrassed by a loudmouthed drunkard, and the person that saw Maren helping herself to the freebies takes the man outside to settle things once and for all. Once and for all has never been so literal, as Maren spots the knight in blood soaked clothing leaving a shed next to the market, licking his chops after a satisfying feast. It always helps when the people you murder and eat are dickheads, they always say. Maren and Lee (Timothee Chalamet) instantly bond, and decide to travel together to find Maren's mom. Before heading so far out of town, Lee wants to make a quick pit-stop at his aunt's house, so he can see his sister Kayla (Anna Cobb) and let her know he'll be leaving town again, and he'll be back soon.....ish.
Maren and Lee are starving for nourishment you just can't find at Denny's, so they head to the fair in search of some dinner that won't be missed by anyone. Lee spots a carny and sweet talks him into meeting him in the cornfield for some real ball toss rather than the rigged version the carny hosts. As the two men fornicate, Lee rips his throat out and dinner is served. Maren follows Lee to the carny's address in his car, and tells Lee she will scope things out from the road, to see if anyone is home. Turns out carny guy had a wife and a baby, and now because of their selfishness the two will be lacking a husband and father. Lee's stance that there's no way they could have known and basically 'shit happens' doesn't sit well with Maren, and the next day she abandons Lee in the truck while he's asleep, and heads off on her own.
Soon after, Maren realizes she has a bit of a stalker problem, as Sully pops back up out of seemingly nowhere, insisting they share a bond and should be together. Maren explains she doesn't feel the same way, and Sully takes the news about as well as Philip Rivers when he finds out his wife is pregnant again. Maren eludes Sully once more, and after time passes, heads out in search of Lee again realizing she made a grave mistake. The two enchanted 'eaters' make ammends, and soon traverse their way to the mental hospital in which they've learned Maren's mom is a permanent resisdent, only to have Maren's hopes of a happy reunion spoiled by a vengeful woman that's waited over a decade for her daughter's arrival, so she can destroy what she created all those years ago. Luckily Gail 'The Nurse Ninja' was supervising, or there could have been a real mess, and Maren's story would have ended there.
Maren's story doesn't quite end there, but let's just say a love story about two 'eaters' was probably doomed from the beginning, even though experiencing true love for the first time satisfied an appetite nobody knew they had, and maybe, just maybe it's better to find yourself by letting someone else find you first.
Madness Meter: 6.2/10
NB
