Good afternoon, House of Madness vacationers:
They always say if it seems too good to be true, it probably is. That Playstation 5 you ordered on Wish for $47 finally arrives, and as you unpack it with the anicipatory hands of a breast fondling champion, you can't be shocked when you uncover nothing more than a picture of said Playstation 5. That hot looking vehicle that catches your eye and is selling for a fraction of its Blue Book worth most likely has enough engine problems to make a seasoned mechanic sweat in an ice box. That amazing house you're looking to lease for the summer probably has inner demons with ulterior motives, as is the case in "Burnt Offerings".
Ben Rolf (Oliver Reed) is driving with wife Marion (Karen Black) and son David (Lee Montgomery) to look at a house they plan on leasing for the summer to spend their family vacation. As they pull into the driveway, Ben immediately assumes there's been a mix-up, as the gargantuan mansion in front of him is most assuredly out of their price range. After some debate, the family decides to knock on the door and investigate the price, just to see if the ad Marion found in the newspaper was indeed accurate. Before giving the price, the house owners Roz Allardyce (Eileen Heckart) and her brother Arnold (Burgess Meredith) insist they have some questions for Ben and his family to see if they're the right 'fit'. The family passes with flying colours, and now it's all just a matter of the price, which turns out to be incredibly generous, $900 for the entire summer. A place like this would easily go for five times as much for that duration, so Ben asks what everyone is thinking; what's the catch?
Upon learning that 'the catch' is nothing more than the realization that Roz & Arnold's mother never leaves her room, and only needs to have a tray with her meals left in her sitting room, the deal is made and the Rolf family can move in for the summer, as can Ben's Aunt Elizabeth (Bette Davis - yes, THE Bette Davis!). Things are normal at first as Ben and David clean out the old pool basin and get it up and running again, while Marion cleans and gets the house back into a lived-in state all while taking care of Mrs. Allardyce's meals and needs. It's not long, however, until Ben, David, and Elizabeth realize there's something very wrong with this house, but convincing Marion of such a thing will prove to be extremely challenging. Time is running short, and if they can't convince Marion soon, there may be no choice but to leave her behind........if the house will let them leave at all.
"Burnt Offerings" is an absolute classic that I first experienced in a book, and not long after I watched the film. The two are quite different in many ways, yet each holds their own charm; the film doesn't take the easy way out with its ending though, and the final three minutes are some of the most horrifying and chaotic moments ever caught on film. Next time you have to ask "What's the catch?", perhaps it's high time you simply turned around and ran.
Madness Meter: 7.3/10
