Evil Dead Rise (2023)

Good morning, House of Madness demons:

Some things are better left alone. That questionable leftover burrito that's been sitting in your fridge for six days? Perhaps you'd be better off with a good old PB&J than to delve into the unknown meat dimension that currently hovers somewhere between being edible, and having the meat shits for twelve hours. The drunk musclehead that just said your wife has nice tits as you're walking up to the bar to buy more drinks? Maybe just take it as a compliment rather than trying to defend her breasted honour by getting yourself KO'd on a filthy dance floor at 1 a.m. on a Friday. Yep, sometimes it's better to tell temptation to take a hike rather than dip your toes into the unknown ponds of life; who knows what's down there, and what its motives are. When it comes to the Necronomicon, you'd be better off cutting your own limbs from your body with a rusty spoon than to open it up and unleash the horrors within.

Ellie (Alyssa Sutherland) is a single mom of three children Bridget (Gabrielle Echols), Danny (Morgan Davies), and Kassie (Nell Fisher), whom all live in a condemned apartment building set for demolition at the end of the month. Out of nowhere, Ellie's sister Beth (Lily Sullivan) shows up on her doorstep in order to divulge yet another life mistake, and gain some moral support - she's pregnant. As the two sisters are about to sit down and have a serious chat, they send the children on a mission of pizza, lest their souls be starved forever in the depths of......nah, they just sent the kids out to get pizza. Upon returning with said pies while cutting through the building's parking garage, there is an earthquake, and it has brought more with it than simple cracks and crumbling; Danny notices a hole in the ground that leads to an old bank vault, and if he knew what lied within, he'd have never tampered with the demons of fate.

As the kids get back up to their apartment sans pizza, Danny quickly gets to work uncovering and tampering with the book and records he found in the underground tomb. With the help of a little blood, the book of the dead is opened, and the vinyl records with sinister incantations are played, and all hell breaks loose - literally. Ellie is targeted by the demons, and makes it her mission to swallow everyone's soul as she promises death by dawn. As the mayhem ramps up, and the evil spreads, Beth must do whatever she can to protect her nieces and nephew from the abhorrent sickness that is trying to anchor itself inside them all, while also trying to prove to herself that she will one day be a good mother. Question is, does she have what it takes to be that great mother she so desperately wants to be, or will she succumb to the same fate as her sister and of her own past, and let evil have its way?

"Evil Dead Rise" is a gory, gooey, bloody great time that never takes its foot off the gas, and pays enough homage to its predecessors for even the most hardcore fans of the franchise to appreciate. Yes, it's a little difficult to accept being trapped in an apartment building versus the classic cabin we've all grown to adore, but the claustrophobic feelings of old are still present here, and the splatterfest that ensues is one for the ages. COME GET SOME!

Madness Meter: 7.8/10

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