Good evening, House of Madness reapers:
We all have that one go-to restaurant that always comes through in the clutch. I'm not talking about McDonald's or Taco Bell, I'm talking about a place you rely on for a great meal when your taste buds demand quality. Maybe their menu doesn't provide the greatest steak you've ever eaten, but you know that every time you order one, it's going to be delicious, and just the thought of their delectable delights makes your mouth water while your palate aches in anticipation. The reason their establishment earned your confidence and respect comes down to many factors, but when it comes right down to it, you count on them not only for the great flavours, but for the consistency they deliver when it comes to their food. Ordering a pizza whilst praying that Jeff is working because Dave's pizzas are soggy and bland, make for a game of Italian Roulette that nobody wants to play, especially when there are so many places to choose from, and you know the joint across the street always cooks your pie just right, and isn't shy with the cheese. Sorry Dave. The same thing goes for movies; I'm not suggesting people watch the same movies over and over when they have a free Friday evening, but if you're considering spending your hard earned money on a new sequel, the franchise's past performance(s) play a major part in helping make your decision on whether or not to hit that 'rent' button, or if you're going to secure your favourite seat in the theatre. If I decide to fork out the cash to watch "Weekend at Bernie's 3", I have absolutely zero right to bitch and complain about the choice I made, and blame others for my obvious stupidity. I would never ask the shoe salesman to put on the steel toed boots I'm contemplating buying, and then demand he or she kick my square in the sack so I can ensure they're made of of genuine metallics.
This brings me to the "Final Destination" franchise; a franchise so full of inconsistency, that the Cleveland Browns gave it a 15 year contract. "Final Destination" (2000) was a true gem that earned every ounce of a sequel with its unique story and style that terrified the masses. "Final Destination 2" (2003) didnt disappoint in my opinion, so i welcomed the news of a third installment. This is the point "Final Destination" definitely left unique behind, and joined other horror franchises in the 'Ok, that's enough now' department, only to deliver two more sequels that were sub-par in overall quality. I also realized that almost twelve years have passed since the last installment, which makes "Final Destination 5" the same age as my dog, and as much as i love that furry fucker, I dont need another one of him running around, which is why we had his balls clipped off years ago. Perhaps 'Death' could go easy on our dear "Final Destination" friend, and halt its insistance on reproduction rather than butchering our beloved franchise to bits, as it tries to defy the stench of successive sequels one more time.
"Final Destination 6" is in post production, but it's definitely not on my menu of must sees, its consistency has been lacking for far too long, and my go-to sequel dealer is a lot more reliable. Sorry Dave.
NB
