Good morning, House of Madness Tricksters:
Happy Halloween! To celebrate our favourite holiday, we were simply going to pass out apples loaded with razorblades, but that's boring, so we've prepared yet another short story for you to feast your eyes upon. As always, I hope you enjoy, and most importantly, thanks for reading!
Humdrum Halloween
Vin Claypool hated Halloween, in fact, he downright loathed it. It wasn’t simply all the children running around in their costumes and having a great time while collecting endless days of free candy, it was all those things and more. Vin had a dark secret that he’d been harbouring since he was old enough to pass out candy, and every year his will would be tested to the limit, and this year was no different. Each year on Halloween, Vin’s urge to act on his dark cravings would almost ensconce him, but every year since the first happening he’d managed to resist the temptation, and turn off all his lights and pretend he wasn’t home. This year he could resist no more, and the miniscule town of Glennsborough and their population of 327 were about to receive the biggest trick of all, according to Vin.
As Vin started carving his jack-o-lantern, he couldn’t help but feel an inner giddiness that most people would associate with the anticipation of something extraordinary, only Vin’s inner reasonings for these feelings were well beyond trivial. As he carved and cut, he found himself whistling and singing along with nothing but the afternoon breeze, and he couldn’t stop himself from smiling. Tonight was going to be horrible, a bloodbath if you so chose to describe it, yet for Vin it was going to be the return to elation which he’d been avoiding for the last 24 years straight, as there’d be no silver anniversary in the cards to commemorate another humdrum Halloween.
Once the carving was done, it was time to fill the candy bowl, and this was Vin’s favourite part…..well, his second favourite part of Halloween. Vin’s candy bowl didn’t consist of rockets, chocolate bars, or bags of chips, it was much more personal and intimate than the sugar packed treats everyone else passed around; Vin’s candy bowl consisted of individually wrapped treats, each different from the next, and each one was a promissory gift in exchange for what Vin needed the most: children’s souls. The first time Vin had learned of his ‘gift’ had been when he was thirteen, and his parents felt he was ready to carry on the family tradition, but had been so horrified of what he’d done that he’d promised himself never to gorge on another soul ever again. Yet here he was all these years later, and the anticipation was eating away at him like cancer at a retirement home. As much as Vin wanted to control his urges and turn off all the lights while hiding in the basement again this year, he knew he could suffocate his inner desires no more, and the children of Glennsborough were going to feed his 24 year long appetite.
After much waiting and what seemed like endless anticipation, Vin finally heard what he’d been waiting impatiently for all afternoon - the doorbell. Vin casually walked to the door, looked at himself in the mirror, and said to himself “You can do this. You were made for this. There’s nothing wrong with you.” Vin slowly opened the door, and three little Power Rangers looked up at him and screamed “TRICK OR TREAT!” and Vin laughed hard, oh so hard. “One for you, one for you, and one for you!” he said, as the children mumbled their thanks and moved onto the next house. Over the course of the night, Vin counted 23 pieces of candy handed out; a little less than he had predicted, yet more than enough to satiate his enormously overdue appetite. As Vin turned off the lights and headed to the kitchen table with his bowl of remaining treats, he felt a chill come over him, as if he were being watched. “Fuckin Halloween”, Vin said, and as he stared into his bowl of goodies, he began laughing as he struggled to decide which child to devour first. “Ahhh, Connor Allen, you look scrumptious!” Vin said into the kitchen air, and as he was about to unroll the soul wrapper, there was a knock at the door. “GO AWAY, CAN’T YOU SEE THE LIGHTS ARE OFF!?” Vin screamed towards the front hall, yet after another few seconds, a second knock came, and then a third.
“Alright, alright, I’m coming! You’re lucky I don’t swallow your soul for being so impatient!” Vin chuckled to the door, but as he opened it, he immediately regretted his decision. “Mom!? Dad!? What are you two doing here!?” Vin bellowed in terror. “You didn’t think we were going to let you enjoy all of these yourself after abandoning us all those years ago, did you?” Vin’s father said as they pushed themselves inside and shut the door. “I…I...I…didn’t abandon you! I just…..just….j” “Just what? Wanted all these souls for yourself? Well, that’s not very nice, share and share alike we’ve always said, son. Now, which of these souls shall we start with?” his father Blaine said with a sinister gleam in his eye. “Look here, Norma, I’ve got a real prize!” and as Blaine picked up a soul wrapper, Norma’s eyes became huge with glee as she screamed elatedly and said “A real prize indeed! Why, Vin Claypool sounds like the most delicious soul EVER!”, and the husband and wife feasted on the tastiest soul they’d ever encountered. “Happy Halloween, son!”, they said in unison, and they laughed and laughed as Norma walked over and turned the porch lights back on.
NB
