Good morning, House of Madness residents:
Last night I was one of the lucky few to catch an early screening of "Badlands", and not only was I lucky enough to get an initial viewing, I also did so in IMAX, and let me tell you, if you've never experienced a cinematic encounter in IMAX, you should most certainly rectify that as soon as humanly possible, just ensure your eyes and ears are fully prepared for sensory overload.
Our story begins with Dek, a young(per Predator standards) up-and-coming Yautja looking to make a name for himself, and earn his cloak to solidify his place with his clan, and to stand beside his brother Kwei in battle. On Yautja Prime, however, time is not passed playing Yahtzee or street hockey, all their green blood, sweat, and tears go into honing their skills and getting stronger in order to be the ultimate killing machine, or to put it in proper context, the ultimate Predator. When the time comes, each Yautja is to select a planet, choose a worthy adversary, and bring home its head as a trophy to prove his or her worth to the clan. Much to Kwei's dismay, Dek chooses the planet Genna, which is not only festered with several deadly species, but is home to the almighty Kalisk, an indestructible being that cannot be killed, which has even earned the fear and respect of Dek's father himself. Problem is, Dek's father doesn't view Dek in high regard, and considers him weak, going as far as calling him a runt, and laughing in his face when he hears of his ambitions to reign in the mighty Kalisk. One thing is for certain, if Dek wants to ensure not only his life, but the respect of his father and acceptance of his clan, there is no coming back empty handed; perhaps he should have chosen a less formidable foe - may I suggest perhaps the Buffalo Sabres?
Regardless of the danger and having all odds stacked against him, Dek sets out for the planet Genna(also aptly named 'The Death Planet'), and it doesnt take long after his crash landing to realize that even the most simplistic of bugs he encounters aren't fucking around, and are playing for keeps. As Dek is forging his way through uncharted territory and escaping death at every seeming turn, he comes across Tessa (Elle Fanning), a damaged legless android that is trapped and imprisoned in some vines. As Dek is fighting off poisonous plants, and a pterodactyl-like creature with its heart set on lunch, he is given no choice but to help Tessa in return for her aid, and the two quickly conspire to help each other in their different, albeit similar quests: Tessa helps Dek find the Kalisk's den so he can claim his trophy, and in return, Dek will carry her on his journey so she can reconcile with her legs, and continue her quest of reuniting with her sister Thia. A Predator is prey to no one, and friend to even less, so the two co-exist with little effort being made from Dek's side for niceties. Perhaps Dek should be more open to friendships and the advantages that they possess, but there's a reason the Yautja have survived this long and are on top of the food chain; friends are for the weak.
"Badlands" is very unique in the sense that when the credits rolled, I both loved it and abhored it simultaneously. The film is an absolute cinematic orgasm to look at, whilst the constant action and booming vibrations happening throughout are positively thrilling, and left my senses salivating for more. On the other hand, the film definitely has a "Disney" feel to it; whether it be cute creatures, silly jokes, or the undying desire to make the Predator likeable for whatever reason. People don't go to a "Predator" film to have their heart strings pulled on, or to experience the feel-good story of the year, rather we come for the guts, the carnage, and the heartlessness that makes the Predators so immensely intimidating in the first place. Watching a Predator make friends, and even smile at one point felt kind of cheap, and unnecessary to the point that it left me wondering what an episode of "Sesame Street" would feel like if it were directed unfiltered by Rob Zombie. At the end of the day, however, "Badlands" is simply too entertaining, too action packed, and too beautiful to look at to let the Jim Henson effect grab hold and bring down the film. Here's hoping the next installment brings on even bigger, and fresher enemies.......and waaaaaaay less friends.
"Madness Meter: 7.6/10"
NB
