Good afternoon, House of Madness critters:
We all have that one friend. You know the one I'm talking about; the friend that wears white socks with slides, even though they're at least ten years too old to rock that trend. The friend that asks you if your pizza was 'bussin' after you're done eating, even though the only way they should use that term is to describe how they get to work every morning. The friend that likes to do some idiotic versions of gang signs when posing for pictures, even though the closet thing to a gang they're currently associated with is Amazon Prime. And last but not least, that one friend that still thinks they're cool enough to party all night, but beer makes them bloated, and vodka gives them the night shits.
It sure sounds like I've just described several people in social denial, when in fact I've been sounding off on our old pal "Scream". Did I love the 1997 original? Hell yeah! The sequel? Uhhh, sure, it was ok. The 3rd "Scream"? Guys, this is getting out of hand, maybe it's time to............. "SCREAM 4"!? I'm starting to think Courtney Cox's accountant is writing these things, in hopes of securing that trust fund he's set up for his children's private shark taming lessons in Cancun. After 2011, our friend "Scream" seems to finally settle down, look at its family of 4, and make a respected living as an established VOD executive. It's been a long road, and we've had our ups and downs, but things are going great, and retirement is right around the cor......A reboot!? Even Mickey Rourke told "Scream" it was a bad idea, and should leave well enough alone. Nobody listens.
And now, instead of riding off into the sunset, our good old buddy "Scream" is hobbling through a parking lot in New York City after leaving Woodsboro, pushing its shopping cart full of wares that nobody has wanted since Pauly Shore was relevant. If we're not careful, Mr. Shore could make his own career resurrection, while we continually allow ourselves to get Ghostfaced on Hollywood hangovers.
If you haven't guessed, it's been a while since I've enjoyed a "Scream" movie. That doesn't make me right though, it just makes me cranky. For those of you that are anticipating "Scream!!" and can't wait to feast your eyeballs on it, it's headed your way March 31, 2023. Watch at your own risk, and my judgment on your soul. Have a great afternoon!
NB
