Good afternoon, House of Madness ghostfaces:
A while back I shared with you my thoughts on the then upcoming "Scream VI" , so if you'd like to check that out first, you can do so right here.
Before I give my thoughts on the film, let's just take note of the things I learned from watching "Scream VI":
1. You can never have too many red herrings; in fact, the more you have, the more you as a movie studio can point while yelling "TRICKED YOU!!!!!!!".
2. New York is a great place to live if you're a serial killer - the police politely wait until you're finished butchering your prey before they decide to show up. Every time! Such a killer-friendly city.
3. As with every other film in the franchise, have a character deliver a ridiculous monologue proclaiming how smart the movie is, and how unbelievably dumb its audience seems to be. Bonus points for coming up with a catchy group name for the brilliant protagonists.
4. Cops can tamper with evidence at a crime scene so easily, they can make entire bodies disappear without so much as a peep from the coroner and mortician.
5. Act surprised when there's a differing number of killers than the film portrays, no way we as an audience could ever muster up the brainpower to decipher such sophisticated code.
6. If you're a main character, stab wounds are merely scratches to the flesh, and everyone has a pain tolerance of 15 on a scale of 1-10.
7. When the time comes to reveal the killer, it's a prerequisite to explain your evil plan in its entirety, no matter how long it takes while everyone involved listens intently. James Bond villains would be proud.
If you read my original thoughts on this film in the aforementioned post, you'll see that I had less than low optimism as far as quality expectations go. That's why I'm so impressed right now; not only were my expectations bottom of the barrel low, but "Scream VI" still managed to disappoint me, and leave me shaking my head with how laughably dumb they think their core audience is. The entire film plays out almost like a "Documentary Horror Making Movie For Dummies" book you'd find on the clearance rack at Cole's, yet they try and play it off as a seriously smart film. If this is what's considered clever nowadays, I don't want to know where 'mindless entertainment' fits in anymore, as it doesn't get more mindless than this, and entertainment is a matter of opinion.
Madness Meter: 4.4/10
NB
