Good morning, House of Madness campers:
I've always wanted to go to California and soak in the sunshine, while I get absolutely blasted on margaritas until I pass out on the beach. May seem like a strange fantasy, but where I live, a day at the beach entails 4000 people on a block of sand built for 75, and if you dare enter the questionable (at best) waters, you're best to duct tape your mouth closed in order to ensure none of the water gets into your system, unless your idea of fun is sitting on the toilet watching Tik Tok until your intestines touch the porcelain. No thanks. Swimming pools are nice too, but a day at the beach in Cali sounds so much better to this frozen Canadian.
I suppose if you're a local resident, the beach is just another 'been there, done that' bore, and swarms of gawking tourists like myself are more than enough to steer you clear from the overcrowded grounds where sandcastles are built and destroyed, while perverts in sunglasses optically undress every woman wearing a towel or less. Geez, maybe the beach is horrible. Well, for the four travelers in "The Outwaters", it seems adventure lies outside of the cities, and into places less ventured in an attempt to absorb a thrilling experience without all the noise and distractions. As the thrill seekers are camping along a remote stretch of the Mojave Desert, they encounter a phenomena much more menacing than screaming children, drink spilling volleyball enthusiasts, and even the most extreme dad-bods tucked so tight into a Speedo, that you wonder if it actually dissolves in order for them to remove it, or if in fact they have the jaws of life up in their hotel room.
"The Outwaters" drops in theaters February 9th, 2023, and as a found footage aficionado, my excitement level feels like it's at an all time high; thank Christ I'm not wearing a Speedo.
Check out the trailer here.
NB
