Good morning, House of Madness readers:
Whenever one of our favourite books gets the green light for a film adaptation, there's always the feeling of excitement when anticipating the literary characters coming alive on screen, but there's also an undeniable feeling of "I hope they don't fuck this up" and taint the fond memories you have of the characters held within the bindings of all those pages. Fuck you, "The Dark Tower". Stephen King is the master, and has unsurprisingly had more of his works translated to the silver screen than any other author. There's plenty to choose from, but we've been hard at work here in the House of Madness, and have accumulated a list that will hopefully appease even the harshest of critics. Let's begin!
10. "Christine" (1983) - Always one of my favourites, as before this menacing machine came along, my idea of being fascinated by a self-driving car started and ended with "Herbie the Love Bug". Herbie will always hold a special place in my heart, but Christine soured the love and made it thirsty for blood.
9. "The Mist" (2007) - When I first heard of this being made into a movie, my gut instinct was to think it was gonna stink, because I figured it would just be a bad CGI fest, and Thomas Jane really pissed me off with that piece of shit "The Punisher" a few years prior. Thankfully, the film focused on the characters and not so much of the monstrosities, and we were treated to a pretty damn good little creature feature.
8. "The Green Mile" (1999) - I admit that I loved how flabbergasted and taken aback people were when this film was critically acclaimed, and then they found out it was written by Stephen King. "It's not scary!", they would bellow, but if you're familiar with his works, this comes as no surprise. John Coffey walked 'The Green Mile', while we were there every step of the way.
7. "Pet Sematary" (1989) - Sure, this movie may be corny in a few places, but it's one film that has left three separate memories etched on my brain forever (knife to the achilles, Gage getting flattened by the tractor trailer, and the mangled cyclist). If a film leaves me with one uncomfortable memory, I'm happy; But three and I consider myself spoiled (not like the ground in the pet sematary though).
6. "The Running Man" (1987) - This film is just so much fun. From Ben Richards to Richard Dawson, the over-the-top action feels like an episode of "American Gladiators" on steroids, only Jesse Venture took them all backstage during rehearsal. "Here is Sub-Zero, now Plain Zero" is definitely in my top 5 Arnie one-liners of all-time.
5. "Carrie" (1976) - Talk about an ending for the ages, and many people will circle back to this film without hesitation. Who knew that a little humiliation combined with a tad of pig's blood would send someone over the edge? Don't fuck with Carrie White, plain and simple.
4. "Misery" (1990) - Holy shit, if there's ever been a scene in a movie that made me tingle with pain, I don't know if I could 'handle' it again. Kathy Bates deserved every ounce of praise she received for her role as Annie Wilkes, and is the sole reason we stopped keeping sledgehammers in our house.
3. "IT" (2017) - After reading the book and watching the 1990 made for TV version, i thought my time with Pennywise had come to a gruesome end. I've never been so fearfully delighted to have been wrong, and this film legit stands up with the all-time scariest flicks out there. Poor Georgie.
2. "The Shawshank Redemption" (1994) - Everybody fell in love with Andy Dufresne, and sometimes I feel like it took 1995's Keyser Soze to make me stop thinking about him. The look on the guard's faces when they realized how they'd been patiently duped gets me every time.
1. "Stand By Me" (1986) - When I was a kid, this was simply the perfect movie. I wanted to be friends with all the characters in real life, and the film served more as an immersive adventure I was taking part in, rather than simply watching a movie about a bunch of silly teenagers. "TRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!"
And there we have it, folks. I'm aware I left a few beauts on the cutting room floor, and perhaps my inner crush on Arnie stole a spot from a more deserving candidate, but I stand by my list. With the sheer amount of choice, this list could have easily been a top 20, but who the fuck has ever heard of a top 20 list? Ludicrous!
Thanks for reading!
NB
2 comments
I was wondering how that didn’t make the list. I didn’t know King didn’t like it though.
If anyone cares to know, I purposely left “The Shining” off of this list because of King’s disdain for the film. Personally, I’d have had it in there for sure.