Good afternoon, House of Madness guests:
When it comes to Christmas movies, I usually have a very specific appetite. Give me "Die Hard" (1988), "Christmas Vacation" (1989), or "Mickey's Christmas Carol" (1983) with good ol' Scrooge McDuck. I've never been a huge fan of Xmas horror, with a few exceptions, most notably "Black Christmas" (1974). With prior bias in full force, colour me suspicious with how fun "Violent Night" sounds and looks.
Everybody's favourite police chief from "Stranger Things" (David Harbour) plays every child's gifting hero, Santa Claus. Kids LOVE Santa because he's so nice, generous, giving, and their mom says he's a really good kisser. Seems our friendly man in the XL suit might have a mean streak buried beneath all those layers of extra sweaters and long johns. Is Santa bringing gifts this year, or is he bringing a sack of whoop-ass addressed to someone special?
When a group of elite mercenaries break into a wealthy family compound on Xmas Eve, they take everyone inside hostage, looking to score some free goodies for the holidays. Unbeknownst to them, Santa really does have a naughty list, and instead of coal in their stockings, they're about to receive some Christmas cheer right up the ass. Let this be a lesson for all of us: don't steal, kidnap, murder, or even scheme at Christmas time, or jolly old Saint Nick is going to punt you all the way to Easter, and who knows what that fucking bunny is capable of........
You'd better watch out, because "Violent Night" drops December 2nd, 2022, at a theatre near YOU.
NB
2 comments
Hahahaha YES! Me as well, Jax! Young or old, there’s nothing wrong with a little violence to help spread the Christmas cheer, I always say.
I fully intend for this to be a new Xmas movie tradition in our household. And I have no interest in worrying about whether it’s appropriate for the kids.