Good afternoon, House of Madness outlaws:
If I were able to travel back in time and visit my childhood self, I wouldn't rush to divulge that day's winning lottery numbers, sports scores, or even stock information in an effort to ensure my future self reaps all the financial benefits of said flimflam. No, no, no, I'm much too dense to do anything outrageously brilliant, so the first thing I'd do would be to excitedly show my younger self the graphical capabilities of today's video games compared to the archaic Atari 2600 that outputted pixels about as well as my current toaster. The euphoric eruption of excreted endorphins I would receive simply by watching my adolescent self's nips being blasted off by the shock and awe of today's gaming capabilities would be more than enough to make the impossible journey worthwhile, although when it was time to return to my own dimension, the cruelty of teasing my youthful counterpart seems cruel and unnecessary. Bah, fuck that guy, I wouldn't have so many scars if it weren't for him, so a little self-revenge never hurt anyone not named John Connor.
I mean, check that shit out, and tell me every kid in the 1980's playing "Paperboy" wouldn't instantly jump right out of their fuckin socks (NOT in sandals btw, so they got some things right compared to today's youths), and spend every waking second drooling over the technological splendor encasing their little minds. While "Evil West" may be light on plot, it more than obliterates its storytelling shortcomings with graphical sovereignty, and although the game progresses in a very linear fashion, there are still plenty of collectibles and treasures to find if you're not afraid to traverse off of the beaten path. With a plethora of weapons to choose from such as the trusty revolver and shotgun from the old west, your character also boasts a futuristic gauntlet on his wrist which can shred enemies with electricity, or straight up brute force if that's more your style. The weapon wheel also sports a relatively robust upgrade system for each of your weapons and abilities, so there's never a moment the game feels monotonous or tedious as you fight your way through hordes of enemies, and although the combat may get a little repetitive, the challenging but fair boss battles that await reward you for your perseverance.
You could probably complete the game in around 10 hours on your first play through if you simply focused on the main story and stuck to the chosen path, but if you're adventurous and have raging OCD like myself, it can take upwards of 15 hours before you witness the end-credits as your brain insists on searching every crevice and corner for potential treasures or hidden lore. All in all, "Evil West" is a whole lot of over-the-top fun, and as long as you don't mind a gallon or 100 of blood as you shred through vampires and all sorts of monstrosities attempting to bleed you dry in return, then you're in for a hell of a ride - your inner gamer deserves nothing less.
Madness Meter: 8.4/10
NB
