Good afternoon, House of Madness villains:
There are times when the phrase 'Go big or go home' totally resonates with a film, and the over-the-top result only adds to the enjoyment. How much would you really have enjoyed a movie like "Predator" or "Mission: Impossible" if the action hadn't been so ramped up and unbelievably explosive? Both films would still be great, but the outrageous detonations and physical impossibilities not only enhance the enjoyment, they're what soak your soul in gas and light the match while you burn internally with glee. "Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan" just wouldn't be the same if Jason hadn't punched that kid's head off, followed by the decapitated skull rolling down into a dumpster causing the lid to close. Brilliant! Of course, many times in horror we are forced to turn our brains off, as watching a clown terrorize children from a sewer, as he shapeshifts into unimaginable atrocities might just be a tad out of the realm of everyday circumstances. People often go to the movies to escape reality, and experience laughter, terror, or drama in a way that isn't possible in the real world. Other times, realistic portrayals hit that much harder, as the thought of 'it could happen to me' leaves a feeling of vulnerability that can sink to your core. "Soft & Quiet" gets a little greedy, and tries to do both at times.
Emily (Stefanie Estes) is a kindergarten school teacher finishing up for the day, when she bumps into one of her former students. Small chit chat ensues while he waits for his tardy mother, and Emily shows him what's under the tin foil in the dish she's carrying, intended for a gathering she's late for. A Spanish janitor walks by, and Emily tells the boy to stand up for himself, because the janitor shouldn't be cleaning while he's still there, whether he's a child or not. That's a little odd and awkward. The boy's mother arrives moments later, and has the same awkward reaction when Emily explains the lesson she's trying to teach him, but doesnt think much of it as the two head home. The real question is who the lesson is actually intended for, and we get our answer very shortly.
As Emily is approaching her destination, she spots someone she doesn't recognize, and begins battering the stranger with questions dripping in suspicion. Turns out the girl is named Leslie (Olivia Luccardi), and they have a mutual friend named Kim (Dana Millican) who is also attending this little gathering. The two new acquaintances enter the church, and head upstairs where the room they've reserved is already brimming with cheer and desserts. Marjorie (Eleanore Pienta), Alice (Rebekah Wiggins), and Kim have already arrived, and hugs are exchanged all around. Before the women get down to business, it's time to dig into whatever deliciousness awaits under the tin foil of Emily's dish. Emily removes the tin foil, and our eyes are horrifically presented a pie with a swastika carved in its top. As we initially assume it's a sick joke, the film quickly reveals this group of women are racist bigots, and are plotting newsletters and other sources of information in order to organize the masses, and take their country back. The church reverend has heard enough, and tells Emily they've overstayed their welcome, and it's time to leave. NOW. Hey everybody, anyone interested in heading back to Emily's place for some white milk and bigot bread? Marjorie and Leslie accept the offer, and Kim agrees to drive them back to her store in town, so they can all load up on wine and goodies.
Once at Kim's Kozy Konvenience store, the deplorable friends continue their dialog of racist montages, while shopping away. Suddenly, customers walk in, and they don't look the way God intended as far as these menaces to society are concerned. The two sisters Lily (Cissy Le) and Anne (Melissa Paulo) are told harshly to leave, but Lily insists she just wants a bottle of wine to help ease a hard day, and they'll be gone. Words are exchanged, and Lily agrees to buy the most expensive bottle they have, just to diffuse the situation. Kim insists the wine is $300, which Lily pays not only to save face and keep her dignity, but also because she just so happens to have exactly $300 in her wallet. Phew! As the two sisters attempt to leave, they are met with more slurs and pushback, but eventually make their exit. Once outside, Anne makes a comment about Emily's brother, who just so happens to be in prison for raping Lily years ago. How dare she speak to white people that way! Time for revenge! Time to call Emily's husband Craig (Jon Bravers) as well, couldn't hurt to have some white male hatred to go along with the situation at hand.
Craig tries to talk Emily down, but she reminds him his balls are in her purse, and he'd better shut the fuck up before they're implanted on his forehead. Craig and the four women head for Lily's place where they intend to 'prank' her while she's not home. Upon arriving, they snoop through the house after marveling at how someone 'like Lily' could afford such a place, and society is again shoveling the whites toward extinction. None of the women pay any heed to Craig's pleas to get the fuck out of there, and sooner than you can say 'white privilege', the two sisters pull into their driveway. Panic ensues, and the women swarm Lily while Craig abducts Anne as he apologizes profusely. Once everyone is inside and the sisters are immobilized, Craig says he's had enough and leaves the women to deal with the mess they've made. After some innocent fun and humiliation, things seem to be under control until Anne starts convulsing and frothing at the mouth. Turns out she's allergic to the mayonnaise they were 'jokingly' shampooing her hair with, and she needs an epipen in order to live. Leslie heads upstairs to fetch it, but decides she'd rather watch Anne suffer than survive while everyone else watches in horror. It just so happens Leslie is kind of a natural when it comes to murdering minorities, and takes care of Lily to eliminate any witnesses. All that's left is to clean up and cover their tracks, dispose of the bodies, and go back to life as normal whites.
The corpses are loaded in the car in order to dump them in the lake using Kim's boat, which is conveniently located by an abandoned house. The plan seems to go swimmingly, but always remember: when you're disposing of the dead in bodies of water, make sure to weigh them down to prevent them from resurfacing, and also do your best to make sure they're actually dead. Amateurs.
"Soft & Quiet" is a disturbing film about the current state of social disorder and the dangers that arise with it, but it's hard to embrace the attempted tension the film tries to set with atmosphere and music, because the characters are so over-the-top and unlikable. At no point did I give a shit about their dilemmas or remorseful sobs, but knowing in the end justice will be served wasn't enough to dissolve my hatred for the people they portrayed. Oh well, as much as I was force-fed bigotry for 90 minutes, at least I wasn't forced to eat a slice of swastika pie.
"Soft & Quiet" is currently available to rent on Prime Video.
Madness Meter: 5.7/10
NB
