Good afternoon, House of Madness cultists:
Way back in November, I wrote about the then upcoming "Knock at the Cabin", so if you're unfamiliar with the plot and would like a brief synopsis, you can check it out here. If you're well aware of the plot and would prefer I just shut the fuck up with my past self and get on with it, your wish is my command - some mild spoilers await.
Wen (Kristen Cui) is quietly playing in the forest alone while Daddy Eric (Jonathan Groff) and Daddy Andrew (Ben Aldridge) chill at the close-by cabin they've rented for the weekend. As little Wen is playing, she sees a large man walking towards her, and is quickly befriended by the man calling himself Leonard (Dave Bautista). After getting to know each other a little better, Wen notices Leonard has three friends in tow, and doesn't like where the situation is heading, so she runs back towards the cabin as Leonard yells after her that she and her dads have a very difficult decision to make. Wen rushes to her parents, and just as they're trying to come up with a plan, there's a knock at the door, and Leonard kindly asks to speak face-to-face in order to make the conversation easier. Tensions are at an all-time high, but as nice as Leonard tries to sound, it's made clear that him and his friends Redmond (Rupert Grint), Sabrina (Nikki Amuka-Bird), and Adriane (Abby Quinn) are coming inside the cabin one way or another. Eric and Andrew choose the 'another' method, and as windows smash and doors are forced, Eric is severely concussed after the dust settles and the two lovers are restrained on chairs with their hands tied helplessly behind their backs. Is this a hate crime? Have they been targeted? Why the hell is all of this happening to them, and who's behind all of it?
Leonard and his 'cult' (as Andrew calls it) insist that they've been sent from a higher power based on mutual visions of the apocalypse, and in order to save the world from complete devastation, the family must choose to sacrifice and kill one of their own for the good of all humankind, lest they watch it all crash and burn while they walk the earth together alone forever. Well, that's kind of fucking heavy - so much for them just being Jehova's Witnesses requesting a little recruitment party. Andrew and Eric of course don't believe a word of anything they're being presented, and when the time comes to choose, quickly refuse to make a choice, and give in to the bullshit. Upon saying no, however, Redmond encapsulates his head in a bag, and is subsequently murdered by Leonard with blunt force. After the latest horrific scene, Leonard turns on the television, and the group all watch in horror as tsunamis and earthquakes ravage the planet, killing countless civilians just as Leonard had predicted. Leonard lets the family know that they will have a choice the following day, with consequences even worse than the day prior, and begs Andrew and Eric to believe him; one life to save 7+ billion sounds like a good trade after all, right?
As Andrew remains steadfast in his denial of Leonard's proclaimed truths, time is running out, and whether or not that time is on a local or global scale is yet to be determined. Are Leonard and his pals really just a bunch of lunatics, and everything happening up to this point is a gigantic coincidence, or are they in fact telling the truth, and all of humanity is depending on two men and a little girl in a cabin located in the middle of nowhere to decide their fate? I know I definitely wouldn't want that kind of pressure, as I struggle nightly just trying to figure out what's for dinner.
And of course, there's that one last thing going through your mind as all the madness is slowly transpiring on screen: It's an M. Night Shyamalan film, so is everything going on in front of your face actually happening, or is there a gigantic twist coming from over the mountains ready to knock the ass right out of your pants? I'm not telling, so if you decide to go and see "Knock at the Cabin" and think you know what's coming, I'd suggest choosing wisely.
Madness Meter: 6.9/10
NB
